Oxygen

There are some days I feel like I am suffocating. I try taking deep breaths but I become more and more frustrated by the thoughts rambling through my head. I just want to live. I don’t just want to wake up every day,  I want to truly live and experience everything life has to offer. I want to embrace life. I grew up poor with only one person to care for me the best way she could for someone who was repeating the cycle of her childhood. The one thing I learned from her was that each day is gift fore tomorrow may not come and money is something to be used because you can’t take it with you when you die. Unfortunately I married someone who is completely opposite and grew up with a wonderful family. Sometimes I feel as if I am constantly being held back from experiencing the air flowing through my hair, flowing in and out of my lungs. Thus, I continue to struggle for air and with that an urge to run like there is no tomorrow,  you know what I mean just channel my inner Forrest Gump. I struggle with the fact that life has not turned out the way I planned. Yes, for all of you fabulous reality checkers out there I am totally aware I am at least half of the reason as to why I am not where I wish to be in life but you forget that we only have influence because everything else is circumstance and God’s plan for you. Maybe someday I will be able to quell the longing within my bones that bares to the deepest parts of my soul.

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